This is my first blog in a very, very long time. I have been busy surviving, living life and trying to make sense of the world these days.
What moves me to write today, is a recent experience I have had in the realm of Mental Health and getting the help I need.
For those of you not familiar with my story, I survived an unexplained Sudden Cardiac Arrest in January of 2012 that resulted in the implanting of an internal defibrillator. The next 3 years was a horror story of problems, medication changes, heart stops and ultimately shocks from my device. Over 120 times. I have been “stable” now for just over 2 years but my mental health issues hang on tightly, I just can’t seem to get past the trauma. For the past 5 years, I have struggled with Severe Anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Depression. While I have some of the best arrhythmia experts in their field responsible for the care of my heart, finding the help I need within our Canadian Health Care System to deal with the mental fallout has been a disaster.
There was very little in respect to mental health resources available to me in the big city of Vancouver, one on one therapy to get the real help I needed was available for upwards of $150.00 an hour, impossible on a fixed income. I could find cheaper therapy, but it entailed students working towards their degree and they were available to me for a few weeks or a few months at best, then I had to start all over with a new person. I was able to take advantage of some art therapy, which I found very helpful, but that was very short term as well. It’s been very frustrating especially with all the awareness being raised around mental health issues these days.
My husband and I recently relocated to Nanaimo on Vancouver Island, we were desperately in need of more affordable living, some peace and quiet and although it meant leaving the safety net of doctors and hospitals who intimately familiar with my history, we really didn’t have much choice, we had to go somewhere else.
So, enter a new Psychiatrist. In order to take advantage of the mental health resources available in our new city, I had to be referred into the system here in Nanaimo. The wait time to see the doctor was 2 months, to date, I have only been referred to a Cognative Behavioural Therapy Group it’s only been 2 weeks so I can’t attest to it’s effectiveness. Last week, I had a followup visit with the Psychiatrist after 4 months in the system, our conversation is the reason I have felt compelled to write this blog….
I should also mention that an anti-depressant named Cipralex was one of the culprits assumed in the cause of my Unexplained Cardiac Arrest, the drug, as some anti-depressants do, lengthened my QT Interval and my current heart drug Quinidine is not very compatible with other drugs. I am ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED of taking any additional drugs, so, imagine my surprise when I was presented with a prescription for Lamotrigine along with a study assuring me that this drug did not prolong QTc. As I sat there horrified at the thought of having a drug I did not want or ask for pushed on me, the doctor talked glowingly about all the good things it could do for my anxiety. “It has been known to erase all PTSD symptoms” he said. This drug is used to treat epilepsy and when it was discovered that it made people taking it “happy” they decided to try it on patients with Bipolar disorder. The drug comes with a Black Box Warning about life threatening skin reactions such as Stevens-Johnson Disorder and other horrifying things. Sign me UP!
I find it totally irresponsible for a doctor to give a patient who has been through as much as I have and has been told of the consequences I face by taking a drug that is not compatible with my heart medication to hand over a prescription and expect me to willingly have it filled. He seemed quite surprised when I told him NO! He told me he thought my only criteria for taking something was that it did not affect my QT interval. WRONG! He seemed quite proud of himself for finding the “special” drug just for me! WOW! So much for my hope of finally getting some of the help I so badly need.
This experience has been my call to action, I think that the mental health system has it all wrong. I know there are people out there who require medication, I used to follow along until I died that day on my dining room floor, but I will no longer be are part of this “drugged” society. I think they should offer more yoga, meditation, mindfulness, music and art therapy classes and encourage people to spend more time out in nature while they get their free “one on one” help to fill in the gaps and less medication. Kids should be taught these coping skills as soon as they start kindergarten, it will help them be more resilient as they grow up and allow them to have some tools as adults, just in case a curve-ball is thrown their way. It would take a huge burden off of the health care system.
It was a light-bulb moment. I have to stop relying on a system that has failed me and take matters into my own hands. I will have to search out the support I need myself, if I wait around for it to help me, I will never get better.
wish me luck.